Relationship with our Mother
Once upon a time I’d have told you I had a good relationship with my mother, however, it turns out I have seen her for what she really is this year. Anyone who has known my mum since my brothers and I were children will tell you my mother is not maternal, that it was a mystery as to why she had 4 children – she wasn’t very good at it. My mother was a business woman, she should have stuck to that.
The Fall Out
So back in March this year I fell out with my mother, over something stupid. But boy oh boy did she make a fuss and properly over dramatised it so that her precious sons felt sorry for her. It all worked, I almost fell out with them too.
Here’s the thing, my ‘mum’ is on her 4th husband, she’s never been good at relationships, does’ have many friends either. This particular husband isn’t very family oriented, he doesn’t speak to his own daughter or grandchildren, which I find very sad. He has never really fit it, my brothers aren’t keep on him either. So Mr ‘drop my daughter by the wayside’ is whispering in my mothers ear and she is lapping it up. I am now queen bitch!
What REALLY Pisses Me Off!
Forget about me and my feelings. I have reached out to her THREE times since we fell out and she has ignored me – total bitch in my eyes. HOWEVER – her not seeing her grandkids is an absolute and utter piss take. What the fuck is actually wrong with her? Yet again, showing her super NON maternal side. I mean, who even does that? My children are her only grandchildren, yet she chooses not to see them. It’s beyond my comprehension.
As a mother myself, I cannot imagine not speaking to kids for 2 weeks, let alone half a year or more. And if I had grandkids? HELL NO!
I have not said she couldn’t see then, she’s never asked in fact. I don’t know how she sleeps at night. She will be a lonely old woman who nobody has time for because she treats people this way.
Funny, my brothers told me back then ‘well we never fall out with mum, only you, so it’s gotta be you’ See here’s the thing, they see her like 3-4 times a year, because they don’t prioritise her. YET I was seeing her fortnightly. So yeah, they aren’t going to fall out with her if they never see her!
How I Feel Now
Now I simply don’t want her in my life. If she wants (or wanted might be a better word for it) to see my children, she is welcome to, but for me, I am no longer interested. She has gone too far with this now.
I just had surgery for fuck sake and she wasn’t there! Didn’t ask if I was ok. If that’s a mother – then NO thank you.
What she has taught me is that I never want to be a mother like her. No feelings, no cuddles, no ‘I love you’s’ when I was growing up, no time to just sit and chat.
Despite me running my own business and being a single mum, I ALWAYS find time to talk with the children, spend time with them daily, tell them I love them several times a day, hang out with them and make it clear they can come to me when they need to. That I am never too busy to help them out with a problem they might have.
Goodness I feel better writing all this down. I have been feeling pretty angry by her lack of love. Instead, I am taking this a learning lesson and ensuring my children never feel this way. She’s not a ‘mum’ she is simply a ‘mother’ she carried me, gave birth, fed me, but that’s it. She didn’t Love me or nurture me.
Goodbye Mother, our days are over. I have my friends who have been there for me through the last few months of sheer hell. I don’t need you in my life.