Half Term Over

Half Term Survived

I survived half term alone – who am I kidding? I nearly always do the holidays alone!! I won’t lie, when I was feeling lazy or didn’t want to do anything, I let the kids sit on their iPads. I am not ashamed to admit I do that and neither should you.

Half Term Survived

I survived half term alone – who am I kidding? I nearly always do the holidays alone!! I won’t lie, when I was feeling lazy or didn’t want to do anything, I let the kids sit on their iPads. I am not ashamed to admit I do that and neither should you.

I am a working mum, I proudly own my own home that needs paying for, I am a single mum at that and I don’t get any help from my chiders father or my family. SO when I need a break, I let them do as they please.

I still do fun stuff with the kids. During the holidays we went to the cinema, saw friends, went to the park, baked, had two movie nights at home, walked the dog together, played a board game and generally hung out together. I do stuff with my kids, but equally feel NO guilt if I don’t do things with them either.

Don’t Stress Yourself

It’s ok to want to take that time out and chill out. Being a parent is not easy and it can be stressful, so don’t feel bad if you let them watch TV all day one day or sit on an iPad, they won’t be permanently damaged!! Look after yourself, YOU matter too.

Self Care 101 – Week One

self care 101

Self Care 101

A goal I made myself not quite 2 weeks ago was to do something every day that was self care orientated and Just for Me. Not my children, the dog, my business or the house – just for ME. Because I matter.

I think many women are so used to running around like nut jobs that they forget that they’re actually human and have the capability of eventually burning out and guess what… it ain’t pretty! Mental health awareness is huge everywhere nowadays and as a woman who has suffered a marriage of mostly emotional and mental abuse and having been brought up by a selfish and un-maternal mother: I know a little bit about emotional abuse.

My Self Care 101 Plan

Last week was my first full week of self care 101. I promised you a look into my life, showing you what I have been up to looking after myself and here it is, day by day from last week.

  • Monday – I took the morning off and went to a friends for coffee and breakfast. I just switched off from my life and enjoyed an hour and a half of just chatting and not looking at my phone.
  • Tuesday – The day before my surgery. I had a soak in the bath, listened to some calming music, then smothered my body in a detox butter with essential oils. Got wrapped up in bed and just read. No phones allowed, it was face down on my floor.
  • Wednesday – After my surgery and when I was home, I just kicked back on the sofa and rested watching Netflix. By the evening I was pretty sore, so I had a little bath (not allowed to get my back wet) but on my comfiest PJ’s, socks on, essential oil roller on bottom of my feet, wrists, behind ears and back of neck and I sat reading in bed. I even put the fair lights on for a little ambience! I slept really well.
  • Thursday – I simply ate well. I have been letting the food slide for a while and decided that wad the day I ate really well, especially seeing as I can’t work out till at least next week. So I ensured I out good nutritious food in my body and some extra water to hydrate me. Then in the evening I put my phone in the kitchen for a little while and watched an episode of something completely undisturbed. Unplanned, but felt good.
  • Friday was a self care afternoon. I really enjoyed this one. I got out my Eve Taylor candle, the wax turns into essential oils once melted and you can use it on your skin. So I sat there after lunch in shorts and T Shirt, with coffee, my candle and Criminal Minds on (no phone around) and sat for an hour watching and rubbing essential oils into my skin. It felt wonderful. I may just have to do that again this weekend.
  • Saturday I wasn’t quite as successful. I ordered a take away instead of cooking. Not something we do a lot of, but I decided I didn’t want to cook, so I’m using that as my self care moment.
  • Sunday – Was supposed to be a soak in the bath seeing as my back was healing nicely, but my 8.5 year old daughter ruined that for me! That’s a whole other story. So in the end had a quick bath, got into bed and watched Pursuit of Happyness. Fantastic film!

So there it is, my week of self care last week wrapped into one blog post. I hope you can take something from it.

When You Get To Burn Out

Don’t Get To Burn Out

Burning out is not cool – we should be listening to our bodies more and knowing when we’re struggling. But as women, we seem to muddle on through, think we’re bloody super woman by powering through, then hit burn out and then are basically… fucked! burn out women

I can say this because I just went through it just recently, over the last week even. Between dropping the guy who I was seeing because he was manipulative, my ex husband being a complete and utter wanker and then me losing a big client at work, I let myself get totally overwhelmed and got to a point (very almost) of giving up.

IF I had seen the signs, or more to the point, taken notice of them, I wouldn’t have gotten to that low point.

Self Care is Incredible Important

Yeah yeah, love yourself and all that. It IS important and it doesn’t have to be airy fairy or all yoga type stuff. It can be anything that makes you feel relaxed and helps you switch off from the world a bit. Here are some suggestions and some of these I will be taking note of myself and trying to apply weekly:

  • Running a nice bubble bath when the children are in bed.
  • Switching off your phone one evening a week, take an internet break.
  • Have a foodie evening (not all day) but an evening where you allow yourself treat foods without guilt.
  • Go for a nice walk, get out amongst the trees and the sunshine – or the rain if you like that sort of thing.
  • Breathe (massive deep breaths) before taking out your stresses on the kids – trust me, I am totally guilty of doing this.
  • Treat yourself to a massage or something like that. Rather than buying lunches out, save your money for a massage a month, or pedicure/manicure etc…
  • Stay in bed reading all evening without putting the TV on, just you and your book. Enjoy the peace and getting lost in a story.
  • Try and go to bed a little earlier one evening a week, even that extra half an hour can make a difference. self care empowering women

I actually think I will do all of the above at some point, because they’re all self care worthy. I do the walking bit every day with Poppy, so I can tick that off the list. I never have a bath when the kids are in bed, I usually have it earlier at the same time. However, I am going to rethink this.

There are lots of different ways we can look after ourselves better, these are just a few pointers.

On that note, I’m off to make coffee and maybe watch a little TV before I move on to my next task for the day.

~ Sonya

When Loneliness Kicks In

When the Loneliness Kicks In

Boy oh boy did the loneliness kick in the last few days. I thought I was totally fine, I have been on my own a long while and aways coped just fine. Here’s how it started:

I went on a date, I thought it had gone well, he brought flowers, chocolate and a warm smile. It got a little physical (much needed) and it was going great. We had a lovely meal and suddenly it felt like he wanted it to be over. I didn’t understand why.

The next day I didn’t hear from him, so by lunchtime I thought I’d send a friendly message and say Hi, asked how he was. He kept it pretty cool. He basically didn’t want what I did.

I Felt So Lonely

I hadn’t realised I even felt lonely until he had cuddled me that night, I real genuine cuddle that actually made me want to cry (I didn’t show that). I felt starved of affection. I have been on my own for 4 years with only a few dates. I have given my life to my children and my business, not thinking much about myself. Something needs to be done about that, I need to look after myself more.

I am lucky and I am aware of that. A lovely home, great friends, ‘some’ great family and amazing children. That doesn’t stop me wanting affection from a man, sex (yeah I said it) and cuddles. Someone to share my life with, my day, my feelings. It’s about time I started doing some of the below.

self care empowering women

How I Cope With Stress

Want to know how I cope with stress?

I’m not sure I have a set way of coping with stress, it completely depends on the day and the situation. I have been known to scream and shout on more than several occasions, then on other days I just retreat, what I call going into hibernation. Below is a list of some of the things I do to help me cope with stress, along with a few more in the picture below.

List of things that help me cope with stress:

  • Going for a walk is definitely one I do a lot. We now live in the countryside since leaving my husband 6 years ago and I love being around nature, totally soothing. London doesn’t have this magic for me anymore.
  • Dance it out, this is one I do with the kids. I really don’t want to do it most of the time, but force myself to.
  • I work out! This one I do a lot. It REALLY helps boost those endorphins and makes me smile more. I have a ‘fuck yeah’ attitude after a workout, which is better than the ‘fuck off’ attitude I have to the world Before a workout.
  • Clean the house, this is part of ‘focus on what you can control’ and when I’m done, I love seeing my house sparkling clean. It’s a form of exercise too as it gets my heart rate up.
  • Go and be nice to other people, they’ll be nice back, it’s a win win. When you need someone to be nice to you, this totally works.

A few more ways to cope with stress below…

cope with stress

I hope this small list provides at least one new way for you to deal with stress a little better. We need to find ways to destroy all that negative energy, it’s not healthy for our mind or body. Positive mindset is a powerful thing. You’ve got this. Keep trying a new things.