How it Started
I’m going to give you a quick run over how my story started. I was married to an Algerian man, I won’t give his name out, because I am not here to cuss him or shame him. He wasn’t controlling at first and we were happy for a few years.
On our wedding day, he made me cry (not in a good way), you’d think that was alarm bells right there, but naive me went ahead and married the guy! We married just the 2 of us, 7 months after we met, on a beautiful island far far away. On our wedding night he got drunk, we argued some more and I was miserable. It all kind of started from there. No good eh!
When I was pregnant with Zayd, I was so poorly, sick throughout my pregnancy and up until 5 months pregnant I was vomitting up to 10 times or more a day, it was shocking. I couldn’t believe how much pregnancy didn’t agree with me. My ex of course didn’t understand why i was so ill. Pregnancy was supposed to be this beautiful thing right? It wasn’t for me!! Then at 28 weeks I developed a blood clot in my lung, thankfully baby and I got through it after a lot of hospital care.
Zayd was born a month early, this early bundle of hunger and lots of crying. I got into my stride a few months in and was enjoying motherhood. Then a sudden bomb hit us, I was pregnant again, conceived Maya when Zayd was just 5.5 months old, I was gutted. I simply wasn’t ready to be a mum again. After a horrendous pregnancy, awful 48.5 hour labour that resulted in a 3rd degree tear and in the operating theatre, I just wasn’t ready. My ex of course was over-joyed. Of course he was, he didn’t have to go through it again. Anyhow, the pregnancy wasn’t great, but not quite as a bad as the previous one. I got swine flu half was though my pregnancy, horrendous! I couldn’t bond with the pregnancy and I was terrified I wouldn’t love her. My emotions were all over the place. Thwas loud and perfect. I was speachless when I saw her for the first time and cried tears of happiness, we boned immediately (thank god!)
The first year was a whirlwind, we moved house, I handed in my notice ay work as childcare was going to cost more than my wages, then my ex announces he is closing down his business!! Dickhead! He let me hand in my notice and then told me that. Tried to get my job back, but it was too late. Things really started to go down hill and 1.5 years on I left him. I told him in January 2011 that I was miserable, didn’t love him and I wanted our marriage to end. We still lived in the same house, but not ‘together’ it was awful.
June 2011 I moved 100 miles away to start a new life. That’s when it got really hard, but I made it through the other end. I am going to be delving more into each aspect of how I felt and what happened, I just wanted to give a quick overview of what happened in my life/marriage and how it came to an end.en she tried to come 7 weeks early!! Thankfully my waters hadn’t broken and they managed to stop the labour. At 39 weeks she was born by elective caesarian and she