Being a Single Mum

being a single mum

Life As a Single Mum

The life of a single mum eh. Not only am I a single mum, I’m a single mum who does this shit solely alone 98% of the time. Their dad barely has them, barely provides for them and as for any help from family? Don’t make me laugh!

Here’s the thing though, I don’t let that shit stress me, instead, I let it empower me, let it help me grow. Grow as a woman, as a mother and as a business owner. It’s no joke owning 2 businesses, bringing up 2 children and trying to put healthy food on the table… oh and keep my house in order. BUT I thrive on that shit!

What Drives Me Forward

Having been in what turned out to be an abusive marriage and me finding the courage to walk away, I used that negative emotion to drive me forward and succeed. I had to rely on part state benefits years ago for some time, but I turned my life around and now need to rely on nobody but my damn self for the last however many years!!

YES! I’m bloody proud. No, I’m not showing off as someone on my page told me once because I’d put a photo of a home cooked meal on my page (some people eh) but yes I am damn proud of what I have achieved. You see, I know lots of other women who are single mums and they have excuses as long as their arm why they can’t work, let along start their own businesses. I decided to not have the mindset of excuses, but use the negativity in my life to drive me forward.

I’d look at my two babies (only toddlers back then) and used to tell myself I would do it for them, I would show them you can work, have kids and get the right balance in life. As I sit here now, in November 2018, I am proud of where I am. A homeowner, good food on the table, I do the school runs, cooking for the kids and going away a couple of times a year. What more could I possibly ask for? And to think I do this with no help with the kids. Of course I’m proud, why wouldn’t I be? Thankfully I surround myself with the type of women where we all have one another backs and we help one another, support one another and celebrate one another successes.

I wish the same for everyone I know, to find that perfect balance (or as close as you can get to it) and that feeling of contentment.

I’m waffling a little (I do that a lot) I’m a little tired, so I’m going to log off now. Have a great rest of the week my loves.

~ Sonya

empowering women

Toxic People

Letting Go Of Toxic People

Toxic people, we’ve all had them in our lives and some of us have even walked away from these people. It’s not easy to do let me tell you. It’s an act of courage.

I walked away from my mum and I think I only had the guts to do it because she fell out with me and then ignored me. After 3 attempts to contact her, I suddenly kind of woke up and thought ‘what the actual fuck’ and decided it was time to leave her be. And you know what – life has been less gossipy, less stressful, less of me trying to please her and less anxiety.

I have backed away from a couple of friends too. Not because I dislike them, but because I have realised how differently we choose to live our lives and we’re not really in line with another ways.

It takes guts to walk away from toxic people – but when you do, it’s very freeing, it’s liberating.

This is a short post from me today whilst I sit and catch up on Greys and rest. I have a poorly daughter at the moment, so lack of sleeping and worrying about her has worn me out a little. Have a wonderful weekend ladies.

~ Sonya

toxic people

Feeling Great As a Woman

Feeling Great As a Woman Today

Yesterday I had a small procedure on my back carried out at hospital and was left a little sore. It needed to be done and boy am I glad it is over. Today though, it has left me feeling great as a woman and feeling that my body will heal and look after itself because I have been looking after my body.

I generally eat pretty well and work out to keep myself healthy and as supple as I’m going to be at 38! I also look after my mind and soul. The mind and soul thing is a newer thing I’ve added to my life and routine, I had to shift my mindset around to get a grip on it. But here I am trying meditating and taking time out from life to switch my busy brain off and focus on relaxing.

Why is relaxing so important?

There will be no technical terms used here, I’m not some health expert or therapist. However, relaxing and looking after yourself is common sense – although not to all. I know for me it wasn’t until it became a priority, because my mental health was suffering from burn out and stress.

healthy living

Now I make it a high priority to do something every day that is just for me and I’m calling it my Self Care 101. I’ll be writing a weekly blog post on here to tell you what I have been up to with my self care. I’ll try and aim to write it on Monday/Tuesday listing everything from the week before.

On that note, I am off to do some actual work and then take a lunch break and put Netflix on 🙂 Have a wonderful day.

~ Sonya

feeling good as a woman

When You Get To Burn Out

Don’t Get To Burn Out

Burning out is not cool – we should be listening to our bodies more and knowing when we’re struggling. But as women, we seem to muddle on through, think we’re bloody super woman by powering through, then hit burn out and then are basically… fucked! burn out women

I can say this because I just went through it just recently, over the last week even. Between dropping the guy who I was seeing because he was manipulative, my ex husband being a complete and utter wanker and then me losing a big client at work, I let myself get totally overwhelmed and got to a point (very almost) of giving up.

IF I had seen the signs, or more to the point, taken notice of them, I wouldn’t have gotten to that low point.

Self Care is Incredible Important

Yeah yeah, love yourself and all that. It IS important and it doesn’t have to be airy fairy or all yoga type stuff. It can be anything that makes you feel relaxed and helps you switch off from the world a bit. Here are some suggestions and some of these I will be taking note of myself and trying to apply weekly:

  • Running a nice bubble bath when the children are in bed.
  • Switching off your phone one evening a week, take an internet break.
  • Have a foodie evening (not all day) but an evening where you allow yourself treat foods without guilt.
  • Go for a nice walk, get out amongst the trees and the sunshine – or the rain if you like that sort of thing.
  • Breathe (massive deep breaths) before taking out your stresses on the kids – trust me, I am totally guilty of doing this.
  • Treat yourself to a massage or something like that. Rather than buying lunches out, save your money for a massage a month, or pedicure/manicure etc…
  • Stay in bed reading all evening without putting the TV on, just you and your book. Enjoy the peace and getting lost in a story.
  • Try and go to bed a little earlier one evening a week, even that extra half an hour can make a difference. self care empowering women

I actually think I will do all of the above at some point, because they’re all self care worthy. I do the walking bit every day with Poppy, so I can tick that off the list. I never have a bath when the kids are in bed, I usually have it earlier at the same time. However, I am going to rethink this.

There are lots of different ways we can look after ourselves better, these are just a few pointers.

On that note, I’m off to make coffee and maybe watch a little TV before I move on to my next task for the day.

~ Sonya

Mother-F*cker!!!

Mother-F*cker of a Man!!

So I posted this lovely blog after I’d met a fab man (or so I thought) and things were going really well. I won’t lie, last week a couple of small alarm bells rang, but I thought it was just me being cautious. But then Monday, yet Again he changes plans, just expecting me to go along with it, but this time I decided to say No. That it wasn’t ok to keep doing that (this must have been the 4th time) and that I can’t just drop everything to suit him. Well, that didn’t go down well!!

Outspoken Women

Suddenly he’s spouting ‘I need my own space’ ‘you want to know what I’m doing all the time’ utter BULLSHIT! I’m not the kind of woman who needs to be texting every 5min and when he is with his friends I always leave him to it. He’d been out partying in London all weekend and I was totally cool with it, I just got on with my thing. So I told him to jog the fuck on and to take all the space he needed, because I was outta there!!

It seemed to likes strong women who know their mind but not when they spoke their mind and he doesn’t like what they’re saying! Mother fucker, he met the wrong woman!

Then my ex goes and cancels on the kids for this weekend, I was SO angry, that yet again, he thinks this is ok. I laid into that man in a way I haven’t before. The anger all came out in such a rage. I have now cut him off. The children have his number, they can contact him. For me though, I’m done.

Don’t Fuck With Me

I’m in very much a ‘don’t fuck with me’ mood – I won’t tolerate anything from anyone this week. There are probably 100 errors in this blog post, I’m typing so bloody fast! I’m glad I have written this post and gotten it out of my system a little.

don't fuck with me

You know what too? This experience with this seemingly wonderful man has shown me one thing – how much I have grown. That I care about ME enough to say ENOUGH. That I walked away from the signs, that I am not desperate and that I won’t settle.

So I am putting this in the Women Success Stories, because I rock and so do you.

~ Sonya

The Kids Are Going Back To School

Whoop! The Kids Are Going Back To School

I can’t lie, I have had a pretty cool summer with my two beats and our puppy Poppy. But they kids go back to school next week and I for one am looking forward to some routine back in my life. I want to work on this some more, run my businesses The Corset Lady and Social Success with Sonya, get my workouts in and take longer walks with Poppy. Isn’t she precious?

We love our kids, but we also love our routine right ladies? We’ve made memories this summer, but ready for things to settle for a while. I forgot I have some press vouchers to use, so I think we’ll eat out one day next week and have a yummy meal out.

I’m probably talking complete shit in my blog posts, but I for one am really enjoying writing these posts.

When Loneliness Kicks In

When the Loneliness Kicks In

Boy oh boy did the loneliness kick in the last few days. I thought I was totally fine, I have been on my own a long while and aways coped just fine. Here’s how it started:

I went on a date, I thought it had gone well, he brought flowers, chocolate and a warm smile. It got a little physical (much needed) and it was going great. We had a lovely meal and suddenly it felt like he wanted it to be over. I didn’t understand why.

The next day I didn’t hear from him, so by lunchtime I thought I’d send a friendly message and say Hi, asked how he was. He kept it pretty cool. He basically didn’t want what I did.

I Felt So Lonely

I hadn’t realised I even felt lonely until he had cuddled me that night, I real genuine cuddle that actually made me want to cry (I didn’t show that). I felt starved of affection. I have been on my own for 4 years with only a few dates. I have given my life to my children and my business, not thinking much about myself. Something needs to be done about that, I need to look after myself more.

I am lucky and I am aware of that. A lovely home, great friends, ‘some’ great family and amazing children. That doesn’t stop me wanting affection from a man, sex (yeah I said it) and cuddles. Someone to share my life with, my day, my feelings. It’s about time I started doing some of the below.

self care empowering women

Empowering Women Worldwide

empowering women worldwide

Empowering Women

I’m Sonya – a girl from the UK who developed a passion for empowering women and empowering them worldwide. After a tornado of a marriage, being a single mum, owning her own business, then having it fail, then owning anther business, I feel I have been there and done it all.

I wanted to share my life, my stories, my history and how I did it, in the hope it would inspire and empower more women worldwide. Whether it be that they find my courage inspiring and women stick up for themselves more or they walk away from a dead end job and find something they love. I just want to help.

With my 2 children in tow (Zayd 9.5 years and Maya 8.5 years) I am living life and mostly loving life. I do get bad days, I get god damn awful days, but I’m still standing and mostly smiling. Us women need to stand next to one another and empower one another, not tear one another down. Are you with me on this? I Hope So! empowering women strong quotes

Follow me on here, subscribe to my blog posts and check out my social media. You’ll find me on there sharing my stories and my favourite quotes.