Letting Go Of Toxic People
Toxic people, we’ve all had them in our lives and some of us have even walked away from these people. It’s not easy to do let me tell you. It’s an act of courage.
I walked away from my mum and I think I only had the guts to do it because she fell out with me and then ignored me. After 3 attempts to contact her, I suddenly kind of woke up and thought ‘what the actual fuck’ and decided it was time to leave her be. And you know what – life has been less gossipy, less stressful, less of me trying to please her and less anxiety.
I have backed away from a couple of friends too. Not because I dislike them, but because I have realised how differently we choose to live our lives and we’re not really in line with another ways.
It takes guts to walk away from toxic people – but when you do, it’s very freeing, it’s liberating.
This is a short post from me today whilst I sit and catch up on Greys and rest. I have a poorly daughter at the moment, so lack of sleeping and worrying about her has worn me out a little. Have a wonderful weekend ladies.
It’s so important to look after yourself, read here with some ways I have been self caring recently.
As you know I have been taking better care of myself and I’ve been noting the sort of things I have been doing to look after myself. I’m sorry I haven’t been completely on time with these posting, but below is a list of some of the things I have been up to take care of myself:
- Bubble baths with Neal Yards bath products
- Netflix and coffee with no distractions
- Walks in the sunshine
- Having a clear out (good for the mind)
- Yoga (must make this more of my routine)
- Having a night a week where I eat what I want with no guilt
- Snuggle in bed with my book and getting lost in the story
Can you add to this? Have you taken any tips from this? It’s so important we take care of ourselves for our mental health.
Self Care 101
A goal I made myself not quite 2 weeks ago was to do something every day that was self care orientated and Just for Me. Not my children, the dog, my business or the house – just for ME. Because I matter.
I think many women are so used to running around like nut jobs that they forget that they’re actually human and have the capability of eventually burning out and guess what… it ain’t pretty! Mental health awareness is huge everywhere nowadays and as a woman who has suffered a marriage of mostly emotional and mental abuse and having been brought up by a selfish and un-maternal mother: I know a little bit about emotional abuse.
My Self Care 101 Plan
Last week was my first full week of self care 101. I promised you a look into my life, showing you what I have been up to looking after myself and here it is, day by day from last week.
- Monday – I took the morning off and went to a friends for coffee and breakfast. I just switched off from my life and enjoyed an hour and a half of just chatting and not looking at my phone.
- Tuesday – The day before my surgery. I had a soak in the bath, listened to some calming music, then smothered my body in a detox butter with essential oils. Got wrapped up in bed and just read. No phones allowed, it was face down on my floor.
- Wednesday – After my surgery and when I was home, I just kicked back on the sofa and rested watching Netflix. By the evening I was pretty sore, so I had a little bath (not allowed to get my back wet) but on my comfiest PJ’s, socks on, essential oil roller on bottom of my feet, wrists, behind ears and back of neck and I sat reading in bed. I even put the fair lights on for a little ambience! I slept really well.
- Thursday – I simply ate well. I have been letting the food slide for a while and decided that wad the day I ate really well, especially seeing as I can’t work out till at least next week. So I ensured I out good nutritious food in my body and some extra water to hydrate me. Then in the evening I put my phone in the kitchen for a little while and watched an episode of something completely undisturbed. Unplanned, but felt good.
- Friday was a self care afternoon. I really enjoyed this one. I got out my Eve Taylor candle, the wax turns into essential oils once melted and you can use it on your skin. So I sat there after lunch in shorts and T Shirt, with coffee, my candle and Criminal Minds on (no phone around) and sat for an hour watching and rubbing essential oils into my skin. It felt wonderful. I may just have to do that again this weekend.
- Saturday I wasn’t quite as successful. I ordered a take away instead of cooking. Not something we do a lot of, but I decided I didn’t want to cook, so I’m using that as my self care moment.
- Sunday – Was supposed to be a soak in the bath seeing as my back was healing nicely, but my 8.5 year old daughter ruined that for me! That’s a whole other story. So in the end had a quick bath, got into bed and watched Pursuit of Happyness. Fantastic film!
So there it is, my week of self care last week wrapped into one blog post. I hope you can take something from it.
Feeling Great As a Woman Today
Yesterday I had a small procedure on my back carried out at hospital and was left a little sore. It needed to be done and boy am I glad it is over. Today though, it has left me feeling great as a woman and feeling that my body will heal and look after itself because I have been looking after my body.
I generally eat pretty well and work out to keep myself healthy and as supple as I’m going to be at 38! I also look after my mind and soul. The mind and soul thing is a newer thing I’ve added to my life and routine, I had to shift my mindset around to get a grip on it. But here I am trying meditating and taking time out from life to switch my busy brain off and focus on relaxing.
Why is relaxing so important?
There will be no technical terms used here, I’m not some health expert or therapist. However, relaxing and looking after yourself is common sense – although not to all. I know for me it wasn’t until it became a priority, because my mental health was suffering from burn out and stress.
Now I make it a high priority to do something every day that is just for me and I’m calling it my Self Care 101. I’ll be writing a weekly blog post on here to tell you what I have been up to with my self care. I’ll try and aim to write it on Monday/Tuesday listing everything from the week before.
On that note, I am off to do some actual work and then take a lunch break and put Netflix on 🙂 Have a wonderful day.
Don’t Get To Burn Out
Burning out is not cool – we should be listening to our bodies more and knowing when we’re struggling. But as women, we seem to muddle on through, think we’re bloody super woman by powering through, then hit burn out and then are basically… fucked!
I can say this because I just went through it just recently, over the last week even. Between dropping the guy who I was seeing because he was manipulative, my ex husband being a complete and utter wanker and then me losing a big client at work, I let myself get totally overwhelmed and got to a point (very almost) of giving up.
IF I had seen the signs, or more to the point, taken notice of them, I wouldn’t have gotten to that low point.
Self Care is Incredible Important
Yeah yeah, love yourself and all that. It IS important and it doesn’t have to be airy fairy or all yoga type stuff. It can be anything that makes you feel relaxed and helps you switch off from the world a bit. Here are some suggestions and some of these I will be taking note of myself and trying to apply weekly:
- Running a nice bubble bath when the children are in bed.
- Switching off your phone one evening a week, take an internet break.
- Have a foodie evening (not all day) but an evening where you allow yourself treat foods without guilt.
- Go for a nice walk, get out amongst the trees and the sunshine – or the rain if you like that sort of thing.
- Breathe (massive deep breaths) before taking out your stresses on the kids – trust me, I am totally guilty of doing this.
- Treat yourself to a massage or something like that. Rather than buying lunches out, save your money for a massage a month, or pedicure/manicure etc…
- Stay in bed reading all evening without putting the TV on, just you and your book. Enjoy the peace and getting lost in a story.
- Try and go to bed a little earlier one evening a week, even that extra half an hour can make a difference.
I actually think I will do all of the above at some point, because they’re all self care worthy. I do the walking bit every day with Poppy, so I can tick that off the list. I never have a bath when the kids are in bed, I usually have it earlier at the same time. However, I am going to rethink this.
There are lots of different ways we can look after ourselves better, these are just a few pointers.
On that note, I’m off to make coffee and maybe watch a little TV before I move on to my next task for the day.